what does writing feel like to you?
t.r. & rory ask their friends what writing feels like to them, with no further prompting
movies: scenes playing out, both inside & outside the character's head
music, composition: attuned (self-)listening from the writer
math: arranging all syntactic components (=vehicles of meaning) in as succinct/direct a manner as possible + incorporating nonlinguistic symbols as guides of meaning & instructors of function (e.g. omission of words (through/with parentheses) + incorporation of slashes + plus signs– deliberate taking away & adding of things to influence/control the final outcome of the piece (tone + atmosphere + structure + form))
architecture: the building-narrative must function, must not collapse (in on itself), all rooms make up one floor, all floors make up one building
gardening
photography: (re)framing reality; film: there are scenes to be directed— perform, guide performance
a puzzle, a problem, something to be solved. the writer tries to *figure out* a person (self //+ character) or a situation, & fills in the missing pieces.
choral/orchestral music: different textures, dissonance etc. added to evoke certain emotions in (sonically?) rich/complex layers
opening a door you don't belong inside of. door: writing about/of people's interactions; stories that existed before the reader (sense:time, limited understanding of context), but also exist before the reader (sense:place); not belonging: like an intrusion, halfway
nonfiction → problem solving: putting legos together, making sense
fiction → painting ∵ wanting to add visual components
seashell/ building a fort: indulgent writing (for self) → temporary residence— writer might leave; nonetheless needs writer’s construction
release/ breathing (exercises): breathing exercises in band: breathing out, for as long as possible, through a tiny hole between lips
(lit criticism) assembling a puzzle
painting; always an emotional thing
screaming/release
block of ice with relic of truth/meaning frozen inside: relic is precise, tangible; writer must intuitively & carefully pick & shear away every bit of ice to get the relic perfectly intact; cannot scratch or chip the relic at all— a single scrape= failure
biting into a part of mind & chewing: what is written, how it is written depends on how her brain tastes that day
a shadow fight: have to fight self to lay out/present the work exactly how it felt in mind + deletion, difference from initial expectations; fighting self for laziness
digging: digging ideas out of/ from mind; sometimes, location of ore is known; usually, a constant search
(jokingly) death
way of survival & proof of life: "the only thing i know how to do"
proof of existence, some of it pain
architecture: creating a structure; everything needs to build + stand on each other
dreaming: writing feels metaphysical
hand-stitching: process → accumulation of lines/words/phrases that start out separate but feel important to each other; drafting → mending & patching up collected scraps of poem-fabric
conversation + talking to others: sitting near a campfire, telling a story; to write is always to tell
talking
“it’s the only way i can express myself properly because of ASD, which is why i often end up writing so much whenever i do have something to say. i want to communicate everything that i feel into concepts that are understood by others”
pouring water
cold water, flowing
vivisection, maybe just straight up murder?
quoting a tumblr post by @jedi-valjean: exits my google doc covered in blood not to imply i have been killing off or otherwise torturing my characters, but to convey that my WIP is currently lying on the operating table with its organs in the process of rearrangement | "writing is a very gory ordeal or at least i need it to be to enjoy it... autopsy & surgery is one thing there's an orderliness needed there to ensure the patient survives. but i need it to be messy and i need to feel stained and at a loss for a good few moments but also filled with a sick thrill, because then otherwise it wouldn't be fun it would be neat it would be knowing... there's no fun in knowing where a story will go before you've even written it. you are the first reader of your story etc both creator & killer blah blah"
tripping, or a very long exhale
putting a puzzle together - but you also make the pieces
storyboarding: transcribing visions into words
singularity
learning
trying to work out a math problem, though not always in pursuit of the answer - sometimes more interested in the individual components + how they fit together + making new ways for them to fit together
urgent ! physical intimacy with a long-term partner
talking to someone no longer in this world, sometimes akin to praying
butchering: a purposing of sorts. feels necessary
playing music
“except i visualize the music as a tangible stream or a line from my heart to yours. sometimes when i’m writing, when i’m REALLY writing, it feels like that line is pulled completely taut. where even the slightest touch sets of a hundred resonances. sometimes the string connects me to other people. sometimes it connects me to me. but that moment of complete understanding, my hunger for it, is why i think i keep writing at all.”
shopping
wanting to pick up something that the writer will like/enjoy (to read afterwards) + indulging – only to end up wondering if the writer can make it work/ do it justice
“like buying groceries that i think will satisfy me thru the week but then i’m in the kitchen 🧍🏼 like wait a minute”